In sum: "Older men are dating younger women, so older women are forced to go gay"

Not that I have ever expected great wisdom coming out of this woman's mouth. I wonder if that means some older guy is going gay because I married a younger man...

Sucking on it

Oh, yeah, this isn't at all demeaning.

I don't think you're ready for this jelly

In fact, I don't think anyone is.

But will she have large boobies?

Can't help but feel like 12 years from now, when we hear from these girls hitting their teen years, that this will end poorly. Hell, in a few months from now when they are born it will probably start poorly.

She is surely no 5-star anything

Suddenly, I feel quite confidant that I will make an * excellent* mother. Or at least a very 'appropriate' one. And WTF is with the box of macaroni and cheese??

Little Dutch Girl

After being away, I'm back!! But still not fully up to speed. I couldn't write anything better than how TPM writes this case of the crazies:

I tend to think of making fun of Sarah Palin as pretty old hat. I mean, she
has to say something pretty silly at this point to make me take notice. But last
night she went on O'Reilly to rail on the president for not getting the oil leak
at the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico stopped. And when pressed on just how he was
supposed to do that by all of people Bill O'Reilly, Palin said Obama had really
blown it by not reaching out to the Dutch since they proved themselves so good
at building dikes and sluices and dams to reclaim land from the sea. Which when
you think about it is pretty much the same thing as capping an oil gusher a mile
underwater.

Fellated has nothing to do with that fish sandwich

I do not think 'being gay' means what you think it means... and wtf is it with the the right and it's homosexual rape fantasies anyway??

Don't they all look the same anyway, right?

Filing under 'what could go wrong' regarding the new immigration policies in AZ, here's a story about a US citizen being held for three days and threaten with deportation. Sadly, this isn't even all that uncommon and, according to the report, some people have been forcibly deported despite being citizens. Birth certificate? Not good enough! Makes you wonder what the crazies would do even if they did get Obama's birth certificate. Deport him, obviously.

Now, please explain to me what it actually mean to be a citizen when being able to prove you are one isn't 'enough'; we all have to 'look' like citizens too? And WTF does that look like anyway?

Bull by the horn, indeed

O.M.G.

Crappy Jeans part II (this time, no babies)

Don't people who design clothes go to, like, design school? Every one of these is a major fail.

Plastic surgery creates freakish cat people

I have no idea why anyone would think this looks good.

Diaper jeans

At first, I was all like "WTF", but the more I think about it, the less sure I am of that. I could see these being cute with a simple white t-shirt (because that's totally a good idea with toddlers lol). Not sure if I would use them for my own future children (they are soooooo much better than some stupid Disney characters), but also not so sure they are signalling the downfall of Western society either.

Um...what's the point?

"Man dies of uterine cancer after kidney transplant"pretty much sums this little WTF up.

More reasons to hate on Arizona

Life of the mother? Whatever!

Get bent Arizona.

The devil incarnate

Yes, this man stabbed his wife 250 some-odd times in front of their 4 year old daughter. Yes, the victim's family is (apparently incorrectly) accusing him of eating her liver and drinking her blood. But, really guys, you couldn't figure out how to touch out the 'red eye' for the photo?

In today's fug

May I present, the Half Pant. Wow, that's some serious fug.

"Dick Slang"

I have come to the conclusion that men need to be chained to the radiator and only let out under the strictest of constraints...otherwise, this is how they spend their free time.

Christ on a crosswalk

So...did his parents name him "Lord Jesus Christ"or did he have his named changed? And why not go all the way? Why not 'The Lord Jesus Christ"? Is it blasphemy to angrily shout out his name? So many questions...plus side: if he did, in fact, have his name legally changed (which I suspect), at least he was able to legalize his crazy.

Man disowns son after blood transfusion

There is a delicate balance between personal free will, religious freedom, and medical necessity. This isn't it. A 5 year old has no say and relies on his parents to protect him; somehow I feel that 'spiritual protection' (as in, letting your son die because your religious beliefs don't allow blood transfusions) is not what a loving god would have in mind for their followers. When is the real issue here, anyway? I never understood the position re medical treatment vs religion: is it that the devil is directly responsible for any and all medical advancements? Why couldn't it be god? Is it that god only allows death, disease, and misery and the devil provides healing, relief and cures? Maybe we are focusing on the wrong supernatural being if that's the case.

Man marries cat

I can't help but feel that if it was up to my own cat, he would totally marry my fiance, but I am not sure about same sex, inter-species marriage laws.

When tinfoil just won't do...

...custom order a cell phone radiation protection cloak! And totally don't try and pass off the fake shit!

Lohan/HIV Twitter- Update

So, that posting I had up about Lindsey Lohan's dad claiming she had HIV...faked. I am relieved.

Note to Arizona...

Stop it; just, stop it.

Man Dies After Eel Is Inserted In His Rectum

I tagged this both as 'sex' and as 'crime'. Why? Because I have to admit I first thought he either did this to himself or was a willing participant. Strangely, the hyper-liner telling of this story doesn't reveal that his friend did it to him while he was passed out drunk (awful!!) until the very end, almost as an after thought. Most people won't get that far and just, as I did, assume the kink aspect of this story from the headline (I mean, come on!).

Grandmother and Grandson...lovers...

...and having a baby together. No. Seriously.

What separation between church and state?

'Activist judges', indeed. I love thier obviously 'strick consitutional construction' stance too. Way to be consistant.

Are the snakes bigger in TX too?

If you have to carry a gun with you to protect your dog while on a jog (also, why would you go out without your security detail, Governor?), your dog is clearly one of those fancy-fied, east coast/west coast coast dogs. But in all seriousness, the reason why the good Governor Perry was packing was so much more understandable:

Perry said he will carry his .380 Ruger – loaded with hollow-point bullets – when jogging on trails because he is afraid of snakes.

Yes, snakes. Hollow-point bullets fired from a laser-sighted gun...for snakes.

Does Lindsay Lohan have AIDS?

And, more importantly regardless if true or false, how low does one have to be to post it about your own daughter? Talk about unhinged. For shame.

First do no harm

Because killing someone in front of their pregnant wife on their own lawn...hell, even just killing someone. From the article:

In the suit, the suspected killer [a doctor] acknowledges he faced other allegations of anger and behavioral problems while at Kingsbrook. His suit said he was unfairly labeled excitable, emotional and unable to control anger.

Yeah, this isn't at all going to call into question whether those allegations where 'correct' or not.

Golf clubs beat out actual luggage people might need

In today's award for worst excuse ever, a spokesperson from Direct Air (who? exactly) tries in vain to explain why approximately 40 bags were left behind while gold clubs went on:

"The golf bags went on first so we could make sure, because people are coming down to golf and they want to have their clubs on the course,"

Yeah...no one wanted all that other crap they packed. And for this, I am sure they all paid for the privilege of checking their luggage.

Blaming the (almost) victim

As bad as this is, I fail to see why they don't make a bigger deal about the fact that the woman he helped left him like that first. In my mind, she has the most responsibility (after the actual attacker, obviously) since she would have at least known the attacker had a knife. It is also possible she witnessed the stabbing. Either way, we know she had a cell phone; she should have called in the incident while running away if she was so scared.

Playing Devil's Advocate, it can sometimes be hard to know when someone on the street needs help. I once called 911 for a homeless man I watched go down on the street, when I talked to him he seemed indifferent but when the EMTs arrived he got up and started reacting violently. Citylife may make us hard, but it is normally because we have life a life which makes us so

Beer ad hell

This ad is revolting. 'Why?' you may ask- is it the overt sexism? No. Maybe the stereotyping of older persons? Not at all. Perhapses because it's for such a shitty beer. Wrong again. So why am I so offended? The glorifications of hipsters. Die, hipsters! Die Die Die!!

If you have been following politics as of late, you may have heard that the Republicans are less than thrilled with health care (really health insurance) reform. No, really! It's been in a lot of papers! Out of the great state of Nevada, comes this charming Senate candidate who, in what can only be a revelation of sheer genius, has been arguing that we should take the initiative and try and barter with our doctors for care and treatment just like back in the olden days. You know, when people died at 35, there were no antibiotics, and the profession of doctoring had nothing to do with actually saving lives. Ah, misplaced nostalgia! And she isn't even the only one! This is a growing movement!

And this isn't even what I am on here to write about. I had to share this site, which uses humor to point out just how, well, stupid this idea is. 41 chickens for an ob/gyn visit? 4482 for bypass surgery? Yeah, this is going to work.

BK brunch

Call me old fashioned, but, to me, brunch is one of those little niceties in life; a time to join friends and loved ones to break bread, preferable over well-mixed drinks and glorious weather. I will tell you what it isn't: going to Burger King for a 'non-alcoholic mimosa'.

I am not so much of a lush that I even require athe drink, but I can't help but feel that this is missing the point of brunch and the time honored division between 'nice' sit down restaurants and fast food places. Who really would want to linger with their faux mimosa, contemplating the latest in politics, books, and gossip when you are sharing space with homeless people and tourists looking for a bathroom? I originally was going to add 'screaming kids' until I remembered, sadly, that this is a fixture at both locations and, thus, part of the joy and necessity of the alcoholic drinks with one's meal.

Update on the guy with the small penis truck

For an update on this guy's coded racist plates and a maybe a small feeling of satisfaction, go here.

Ke$ha without the record deal

This 18 year old was drugged out on hillbilly heroin and crashed into a 69 year old woman in her yard, killing her. The bright side according to the failure of a human being? 'She was old'.

Stay classy LI.

Somehow, I think PETA is gonna be pissed

I don't know, it's not like wearing an antelope head isn't going to improve the whole fanny pack look.

PS: the artiest's other work is actually very cool. Check it out.

New meaning to ''hard drive'?

I am a pretty open-minded kind of person, more than most even. There is, quite literally, no sex act, fetish-y perversion that I am not aware of, familiar with, or even shhhhh a participant in. Having said that, I am at a loss here. Either this is a fake post meant to get attention (it’s happened) or this is some sort of international espionage trick. The only other alternative, that this is something she is into, confounds me. Also, just how ''understanding'' is this guy?

Sheep-pig

Not a sheep. Not a pig. Sheep-pig.

No, a Crack Shield has nothing to do with crack but you will sure as hell look like you are on some when you wear it.

There should be limits. No, really. Limits. And the "Backtacular Gluteal Cleft Shield" (that gets a WTF all it's own) should be very high on said list.

I will admit to occasionally flirting with the idea of a tramp stamp, but I have never understood the ultra low cut jeans look. What do you get when you combine the concept of the two together: this abomination. If your jeans are so low you feel the need for an ass crack ‘shield’ (which, oddly enough, sort of reminds me of a bible being kept warm by your asscheeks) than your pants are too damn low!

You just know this guy has a tiny penis

While the imagine of the back of this truck is interesting enough (as is the fact he is parked in a handicapped space which, IDK, I just can’t help but want to call BS on) the license plate is also of interest here. Someone in the comments section already picked this up, so I paraphrase:

Meaning of the 14CV88 vanity plate number:

CV "Sons of Confederate Veterans" plate."88= HH or, Heil Hitler (H=8)

14" refers to the 14 "white words" - 'We must secure the existence of our race and a future for our children.'"

Now, this can all be a very interesting coincidence (oh how I would love a better close up of the other bumper stickers! I just know they are filled with some real gems) and coincidences are the spice of a conspiratorial mind. Regardless: WTF. Furthermore, I am just so sick of so-called ‘real American’s using a NYC event to wrap up their racist ‘patriotism’. A guy like this would normally have nothing to do with multiethnic and racially diverse New York. In fact, I would suspect that deep down inside, a guy like this is happy we were attacked. After all, a large number of those killed at the WTC weren’t ‘real Americans’. So, to that, I add a ‘Go fuck yourself’ too.

Jesus of the penis abs

So...this happened.

Blast from the past- 12 years later

I remember this guy: he "knowingly infected at least 13 women" with HIV because he didn't believe the public health officials who told him about his infection. And he only got 12 years. And now he is about to be released. And he gets to change his name. They are considering confining him but I can't help but think there is all sorts of wrong with this.

Less "WTF" and more "HOLY SHIT"!

Damn!

Alzheimer's at 31

Honestly, this is quite sad although when I mentioned it to my partner he kept saying how sad it was for her because her life was over and how she wasn't able to raise her own child. I pointed out that she was beyond caring about that and I felt most sad for the husband. When one gets married, one does not expect your partner to deteriorate with a debilitating disease that steals them away from you emotionally and physically in a period of less than a year.

Live round in head

I saw this story a few days ago, but nothing quite drives it home like these pictures. I have yet to actually see a good explanation as to how something like this even happened in the first place, but at least all parties involved had a great story.

Doubling down on fat

Interestingly enough, the calorie count is not as awful as you would think it should be, but I doubt you will feel like running any laps after eating one.

Say it with me...

...you are NOT a fucking ninja. Lame.

So not that type of girl!

I had no idea it was so emotionally distressing to be associated with the 'wrong' strip club...sort of like when someone thinks you went to Yale instead of Princeton.

No, the 'love rug' is *not* the same thing as your pubic hair

I feel dirty.

Saving chubby girls...

Seriously though, why go for the meat when clearly it is the gravy's fault? I think God likes a little 'meat' on the bones of his women; he did make Eve out of ribs afterall.

Russia does NOT play

Warning: this is totally graphic; it's the severed heads of the two female suicide bombers from yesterday (vs the ones from today sigh). The article is in Russian, but the images are what you are really clicking to see anyway.

How about a little ordered and meaningful discourse?

I am not sure at what point I am most bothered by this. Was it:

A) The fact that this guy followed him honking and 'gesticulating angrily' at his Obama/Biden sticker (good thing he didn't notice the Darwin fish)

B) The fact that he than repeatedly rammed into the guy's car to further show his anger (nothing like a little well-ordered political debate)

C) The fact that this was all done with a 1o year old in the car who was terrified (think she is going to be voting Republican in 8 years? Maybe not, but at least she won't have to worry about her PTSD from this incident being called a 'pre-existing condition' and getting her health insurance coverage denied)

or D) The whole frigging story. Seriously.

Bring back the 70s bush!

I bet these would sell really well in Williamsberg.

How would you like that done; gold or silver?

I cannot possibly be the only one dirty-minded enough to wonder what else you can spray with this stuff.

Apparently 'yes we can' was some really some sort of consent to rape

Ever classy, here is this gem from the extreme right wing of the political world. I sure hope Lady Liberty remembered to buy her 'abortion insurance' rider.

This $1,625 t-shirt better be great in bed or make amazing bloody mary's

Apparently, all men ever are really high end fashion designers in their heart of hearts; I have no other possible explanation for this. But, in all seriousness, if I saw someone wearing this I would think 'time to close my eyes and pretend I am asleep'.

Werk it grrrl!

Part of me can't help but think: 'this is all sorts of awesome'.

She wants to pump *clap* you up...

When I showed this to my partner, he was like 'Wha......No! That's Photoshopped." Alas, it is not. It is a 'bully whippit' named 'Windy'. In her spare time, when not racing, she likes to give purple nerpples to 3rd graders who don't give her their lunch money.

What? No fish sticks?

Why, pray tell, would a guy leave an onion in a woman's vagina?

"I did the time and paid the tuition"

Sister, I sympathize...

James O'Keefe is on a boat!

Wow. When you look up the definition of 'douche', these should be the photos illustrating it

How much for the sausage casings that give me camel toe?

$300…$500…over $1,000?! How much would you pay for these ungodly ugly leggings? I thought not.

Talk about being 100% wrong, 100% of the time

In a lot of ways, it’s almost too easy to pick on Bachmann; I mean, seriously, I still don’t understand how this woman got elected. But then she opens her mouth and the world just goes crazy. I am not even all that sure what, exactly she is trying to claim by saying that previous to September 2008 the economy was ‘100% private’. The public service sector has always been one of the larger, and certainly most stable parts of our economy (in fact, the French, for whom the government is an even larger part of their economy have suffered less under the current global recession as a result, but I digress) and private sector health care is also a major component of the health care portion of the economy…so…what?

PS…you work for the government! How is your job part of the ‘private’ sector then??

Terrifying Poop Gas Bubbles Will Kill Us All

I can't top Gawker's heading for this, so why even try. Also, gross.

Homeless vets can wait…now about those baby killers…

Oh. I see. Using tactics best left to the preschool play room against such important issues as homeless veterans, national security issues, and important senate business is somehow appropriate?

That's ok, we don't need your ball anyway, so if you want to march on out of here with it, good for you.

Suicide voyeur

In honor of my first post, I have selected this little gem which sounds like something out of a bad (or good?) law and Order episode. In it we learn that a middle age, married nurse has been posing as a young Asian woman (on the internet?! Never!!) to encourage people to committee suicide so s/he could watch. Admittedly, these were people who, for various reasons, were depressed and/or already suicidal. But still…wtf.